Monday, April 14, 2008

Everyone's Pregnant

I swear, girls I know are getting pregnant left and right. And they're all having boys. Boys boys boys... all of them. Do any of you know anyone having a girl? I think it's natures way of preparing for half the world to be blown up or aliens or 2012 or whatever. A decrease in nurses is not a good thing. Poor medical coverage and health care is also not so gravy. Neither is the fact that gas is way too fucking expensive, minimum wage too low and the rich too rich.

I keep saying to myself, when I think of these things... 'if you can't beat em, join em.... and then work from the inside out.' But who knows if that'll work. I keep thinking that all this portrait learning crap, all it's going to do is make me a better journalist for when my back yard is getting blown up and a tellascreen gets mounted in my apartment and I'm forced to live with the homeless dudes in the deep set camps around the subways of NYC. You know... if NYC even exists.

This is why I don't want kids. I don't want MY children growing up in this shit. Learning how to hate me in school and telling me to fuck off. Having sex at 12 and being just so totally into Playboy bunny necklesses and makeup and short shorts and shaving legs by 10.

Ahhh. I may be thinking a lot about my niece. She's fucking 12 and has a glittering myspace with terrible Myspace Photos that make me want to lock her in her room. A boyfriend she's just So In Love With... which makes me want to find him and give him the spanish inquisition, shake him and tell him if he hurts her, I'll go all Upstate New York Hick on his ass and find a shotgun.

See? I shouldn't have kids. I don't even know what to do with my sister's kid. I'll leave the parenting to siblings and friends. Maybe I'll learn to perfect the Super Cool Aunt thing. You know... leave the shotgun and the lecture of "you don't need to shave your legs, you should be playing in the woods" at home.

My mother just kept my sister and I really sheltered, and I'm glad for it. I have maners and morals. I mean... Now I get naked for strangers on a regular basis, but that's different! I didn't even know what a condom was until I was like 14. Or a blow job. Or touch myself in that special place until I was like 16 or 17. God damn.

These little shits of kids at 10-15 need to be seriously smacked one good.

This is why I don't. want. kids. Everr.

Though part of me does wish that I had it in me to be a nurse. We need more nurses. We need people to take care of sick children and soldiers and shit.

I think I'll just go pick up some Natural Remedies book. Learn to make some magical healing salve out of moss and shit. Yeah, that's what I'll do. And watch out farmers, when the world is falling to pieces, I'm stealing a horse and escaping to the mountains.

Anyone care to join?

In other news, I've got a shoot soon, yay.

Oh, and up there. That's My Stylist, Holly.
I love saying that... "my stylist"


Chip Willis said...

What the F?

If kids have good parents, they are cool.

If the parents suck, the kids usually end up fucked up.


I have a pretty cool one but hes almost out the house!

Free soon ! Free Soon!

Cept for College debt.

Anonymous said...

You're really good with Olivia, you only say "fuck" and "cunt" just a little bit around her.

(Maybe that is why she gave you that special nickname?)