Wednesday, February 24, 2010


photo by Josh Marks

I don't find Florida to be very interesting, though I just arrived a couple days ago. The best part is, of course, the sunshine and warm weather, though it's getting close to the rainy season here which I'd prefer to skip out of. I'm obsessed with the huge Oak trees with Spanish moss, esspecially at sunset and hope to get my grandmother to drive me around one sunny late afternoon so I can take pictures of these beautiful trees.

I still feel unsettled, though. Even though I'm fairly always on the move, I don't feel like I'm actually "on my trip". I've been here before, I've been up and down the east coast many times, if I was only a child most of those times, I've still done it. I feel like the real adventure might be when I reach New Orleans, or especially when I'm past Texas, as Texas is the furthest west I've ever been. Even then, I don't think I'll be satisfied, as I don't think new sights are exactly what my heart is screaming for, though certainly it's part of it. I'm already tiring of being alone, and look forward to meeting up with some friends in a couple weeks.

Right now I'm staying with my grandmother, and while I love her to pieces, my life has gotten too complicated and abnormal to be able to share properly with my 70-something year old grandmother. I find my head full of thoughts and conflicting emotions and I snap at stupid things because I'm just so... unsettled. Unsettled in myself and what I'm doing, where I am, both physically and mentally. Sifting through my head for some sort of balance.

Monday, February 1, 2010

January is Over

photo by George Bogatko

2,000 miles. 8 states.
Too many friends to count.
I'm terribly stressed about money but I'm happy, otherwise.
I hold my breath and use my credit card and pray that it'll all work out in the end.
After all, I could die tomorrow and then none of it would matter anyway.
I've paused in Virginia with my friend, Shakti, who is super
and houses me happily and it's comfortable and safe and easy and I like all those things.

Soon enough I'll continue on to Florida, but for now I'll enjoy the snow as it comes and goes- oh how I love how it snows one day and the next it's 50 degrees.

I've been introduced to latex clothing and corsets and I love both. I'm reading Venus in Furs and have a pile of other books still to read.

and that's about it. I'm content.