Thursday, March 27, 2008


This is Holly, owner and sole maintainer of Thriftwares.
Lastnight, she introduced me Sparks. I was hyper as fuck.
I really like this photo,
God damn artificial lights; Bow to natural light!

Two things:
1. I'm sitting in the school's library. I love libraries. I love books. I love the way they smell, and the quiet, and all the people's words and thoughts and knowledge. I'm sitting near my favorite section: Religion

2. I've got a new apartment, and no one to tell about it. No to-do, no helping hands, no planned house warming. Though Holly did agree to come over and help me decorate.. Though I don't have much to decorate with (let alone a real bed or full couch). I do have this sweet canopy thing that I think I'll finally drape over my bed. And hope the cats wont tear it to shreds. I plan on getting rid of a lot of stuff, too... mostly clothes. I have a lot of clothes.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Arright, So

I've been scanning negatives for fucking EVER.
But I'm happy with some of the stuff I've got.
Particularly obsessed with the half frame, but I think that has more to do with the fact that it was a new toy to play with than anything else. I mean, don't get me wrong, Jessalyn is beautiful and wonderful. ;) And woot-woot, there's ANOTHER roll from said James' Half Frame.. YAY.

And my Professor wont let me scan 120 film cause I'm sick and he doesn't want to be near me or have me touching the scanner? He doesn't want to get sick ("we" all make fun of him for it..) but commoooon I gots stuff to scan!!

Bah, I'm exhausted and still need to pack some stuff up in my apartment.. I just don't have the will to do it.

I think I'm better than I was yesterday, though. But don't quote me on it.

I'm craving a caramel latte.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Sick? Ew.

Jessayln took this and I fucking love it. Looks like something I'd shoot... actually, I'm jealous ;)

Sitting in the school's lab right now, ignoring the First Years as best I can. Before the swamped the area, I was able to develop five rolls of 1600 in one shot. I dig processing Fuji 1600... 4 1/2 minutes developing time and 4 minute fixer? Shiiit, that's half the time as Tmax 100 (what I normally shoot..). Of course I've been shooting in different light and circumstances, so this is appropriate and convenient.

Brought 8 rolls of colour to Danella's (local public lab) four of which are from Sander's Rollei :)

I figure between what they get done at Danella's today and the five I've already developed myself, I can scan a bunch of shit when the studio opens up.

Why am I rambling about this shit? No one cares. I guess I'm just proud.

Besides that, I'm all super sick and coughing and sniffling and slept for 13 hours last night. All hopped up on dayquil to get me through my day.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Scanning Squares

Spent a couple hours lastnight scanning 120 film and editing... Nell on the roof a couple weeks ago... or a week ago... or something. Still have half a roll of 35mm, the other half being of Andrea. But that'll be easier, I think. The Rolleiflex just makes everything so pretty.

James wants me to get outside, but I feel like ignoring existence and catching up on scanning... I've got a lot. Besides I have no aim (though I'm dying to find the perfect goth cross neckless and a tiara).

I'm just being a scaredy-cat anti-social hermit...

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


A Polaroid from lastnight. Brooke is sweet as hell and I had a blast shooting her...

Sunday night I went to Rochester to shoot with Frank Petronio, Cris Ashley and Jessayln. That was also a blast.

By the time I get back to Utica, I'm going to have a LOT of film to develop..... I'm not complaining, I'm bragging.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I miss my baby

Pan is on m y lap purring away and I'm petting him and kissing him and as usual white hair gets everywhere... on my clothes IN MY FACE. But I love him just the same. Artemis took a nap with me earlier.

I found a new apartment!! YAY

(note: Thursday. Garbage Day. Don't forget.)

Saturday all the craziness starts. St Patrick's day is the biggest day of the year, here in Utica, at least. All the Italians suddenly have a bit of Irish and all the Irish have no Italian, etc. I have to be there at eight am! ACK, I'm going to bust my ass, I CAN"T WAIT. Srsly. (MONIES)

I think when I get back from Spring VayCay, I'll tear apart my apartment to look for only the bear necessities I need to take with me to the New Apartment (Holy Fuck, I can't wait!!). I feel like ditching most of my stuff, downsizing, getting rid of the majority of my clothes, leaving behind crap I don't need and let my asshole landlord pick it up.

I can't wait to be rid of him.

I also can't wait to be back in that safe, comfortable, great little space in Brooklyn that houses my sanity and favorite treasures and heart and stupid stuffs like that...

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Old News, New News

Photo by Jaime Ibarra, last summer... It's strange to see "new" photos from him of me... Though they're not new, they're Never-Been-Edited shots. Till now, of course. I like these, I love my kitty there in the foreground.

Every time I return to Utica, I'm left with this empty feeling. Like a big sigh and a pause and I don't know what to do or where to go or what project to work on. I have so much to do here, but it's all seems so mundane. I have a list I wrote last night that couldn't be finished if I had gotten up at six am, or had started when I wrote it.

I want to be rid of my life here. I am done with Utica.

But at the same time, it's so safe. I know what to expect. I have little competition with modeling or photography. But I look at people's photography who I respect and I just feel like I have so far to go, so much to learn and get my hands dirty with. But I'm ready, I'm ready to do that... If only I could get my models to stop bailing on me.

Oh that reminds me.. I have film of Nell to develop. I can't believe I haven't done it yet.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Old New Stuff

Lastnight I decided to take negatives from previous years and scan them, re-edit old photos and edit ones I've never looked at except on a contact sheet, like this one. Her name is Kayla Jo, and I met her at Drum-n-Splash in 2006. Really sweet and beautiful girl.. She gave me her email, and I was going to send these to her and ask her to model for me again, but her email is dead. Bummer. Drum-n-Slash is this hippy week-long drumming/camping event at a place called Four Quarters on the southern most boarder of Pennsylvania. The "splash" comes in with a nearby stream (where the hippies get naked). It's really fun and laid back, people are really nice there. Four Quarters has week long (some two weeks!) events all summer. I hope to go this year.. I missed last year.

None the less... I wanted to renew my faith in myself by looking at old photos that I like. Gives me hope that I wont suck at studio portraits for forever.

Monday, March 3, 2008


My niece from a few years ago...

Tomorrow I go and print and process and I'm really excited about all that. I think maybe I'll scan some shit as well. I was supposed to shoot my friend Andrea tonight, but she had to cancel on me. Shooting this girl Erica tomorrow which should be promising.

This weekend Marko and Terry Richardson..

Later this month I'm shooting Cris, Brooke, Sarah, Jessalyn and Diana. In that order. I'm soooo excited and I hope I do well and nothing falls through. I've really got the itch to shoot in the last week and haven't been able to pin anyone down.

Oh, and my kitties are the best.

For The Gravel In Your Guts

I love me some Johnny Cash.

That's All..

Saturday, March 1, 2008


Just me and Artemis.
It's a quick scan... Cross processed..
The colour processor in the school's lab just got fixed last week..
and I'm dying to print.
This probably isn't going to look anything like this scan.
But I'm itching to look at something new.
Like now.