Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Change in the Air

I haven't been shooting.

I have, however, made my sixth move in the last four years, finally out of that hell hole armpit of New York state: Utica. My uhaul brought me only an hour away, to Syracuse, but it's new, and it's not Utica. I can't stress that enough. Perhaps what finally got me out was being evicted.. or perhaps it was the promise I made to a friend to get out of that shit hole by March in exchange for this beautiful camera. A strange promise, and surely wholy for my benifit; kindness from a stranger. Well, near stranger. Months ago, when this 'promise' was made, it was put in my head that March was some sort of catilis. The idea snuck in my head that if I didn't get out, I didn't deserve this camera, which I grew to love - thus not deserving to be any sort of recognizable photographer or maybe even an ambitious person, period.

Sometimes I think all you need to do is hold a want in your mind strong enough, and the world will yeild if your desire is strong enough. I didn't know how I was going to get out. Thank-you Melody for visiting for a week and partying with me enough to piss off my landlord. Thankyou Vinnie, my landlord, for not putting up with my careless bullshit, even if it really pissed me off.

Thankyou Sanders McNew, for the selfless push to someone you barely know. I am in your dept.

On a different thought.. My last move a little over a year ago, I left half of my belongings behind in the frenzy. This time, I did also. I have no furnerature. I have a bedroom full of simple pleasures: bed, tv, movies, books, decorations and photos to keep me reminded of the things I love. I have a small storage space with my dresser, my sisters dresser, bags of clothes and six boxes of photo shit. I've put all of my negatives away - I'm done with all of that for now, I hate most all of it. Time to move forward.

New city, new people, new apartment, new neighborhood, restraunts, bars, stores, grocery store, routine, YAY!