Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Movie Review: New Moon

1) I'm going to become an actor. If they can do it, I sure as fuck can.

2) You'd think entertainment budgets would be able to supply us with more. Particularly with this plot line. It was fucking terrible. I felt like the movie would never end...

3) Dakota Fanning, you stole it. Thankyou for saving me from certain death with your five minutes and two lines on the screen. (She'll turn SIXTEEN this February, can you believe it? And she looks so timeless as the evil Jane... I look forward to seeing her in the next Twilight movie, and hoping to see her as more evil characters in the future! We don't get to see many child actors maintain the screen, but she could play some serious rolls in her teens, and I hope she does.)

4) I don't believe Kristin Stewart has EVER had a kiss that's knocked her off her feet. You know the kind (for those who have read the books.. the kind that Bella and Edward are SUPPOSED to have), the breathless shivering mind numbing type. Instead they're groaning on screen so all us sudden 13 year olds can be squeamish. She almost got it with her depression and crying but once again, I doubt the girl has ever been truly heartbroken.

Overall, a disappointment. Not that I expected much.


ryan manning said...

the prospect of you becoming an actor seems well within the realm of possibility, in my humble opinion

Dan S said...

I'm told this movie's sweet spot is 12 year-old girls so we must be too old (although I'm told I act like a ten year old all the time).

Ron said...

This movie sucks enormous ass.

I should not have seen it, but I did. I knew it was wrong when I did it, but I did it anyway. My bad.

It is the most boring movie I have ever seen. But I have to give major props to the director. Making an intensely boring movie that involves two of the most exciting supernatural creatures that have ever been created - vampires and werewolves - requires a special talent which this jerkwad obviously has in spades.

The lead dude mumbles. He just mumbles and mumbles. Then he mumbles some more.

SO, the lesson is: If you would like to act, go for it...but you might need to learn to mumble first.

s.l. frank said...

erg. i agree. my review was shorter:


dear god. the thom yorke new song was nice though