Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Book Review: Twilight

In two days, I read this book Twilight. It's really fucking big and I pretty much spent all my time reading it. I'm a slow reader but I'm determined to read the whole series in record time. Which is a bit grueling, considering the story is terribly drawn out. One day at school, I swear, takes at least two chapters. I mean, by all means, stress to me the importance of Bella waiting for her Prince Charming to return from his week-long hissy fit that she smells so damn good, but does it really need to take up a third of the book?

I suppose I'm just irritated that good vampire books don't exist for adults without being romance or graphic novels or something. Is there such a thing as well written, well plotted fantasy books? Or is it all lost on adolescence? I remember reading on particularly good vampire book when I was younger, though I don't recall the name of it. It was not a series and it was not painfully drawn out.

And, for the record, I thought the movie fucking blew. Like really big time sucked. But I love vampires to no end and will read every vampire book I can get my hands on, no matter how grueling. Okay, I lied, I can't stomach forcing myself through Anne Rice and her gay boy fantasies and over descriptions (and, once again, DRAWN OUT).

I would also like to point out that by the end of Twilight, it's just like the movie- no meantion of some other warewolf boyfriend coming along. However, the cover of New Moon has a movie cover on it, with Miss Bella standing with some douchebag who is NOT Edward (who she apparently is MADLY in love with).

First of all, this is a terrible spoiler. Second of all, they go further to include a poster in the inside, with Bella being all slutty on Mr Warewolf and Edward looking all sad and pathetic.

This just makes me mad. The boy's been 17 for a hundred years and looses his human girlfriend to some harry moon beast and gets all pouty? Bitch'd be crying, not me, if I were him. piff!

Alright, off to read New Moon.

On last thing: I will read New Moon within the next couple days and then go watch the fucking movie. I will hate it and bitch about it for days after that, too. You know, while I read the NEXT book in the series. I bought that stupid Twilight movie and watched it like three times trying to convince myself it wasn't as bad as it was, but I'm telling you what - there's no saving that movie. Those kids can't act and the script was taken right from the book. I don't want to feel like I'm being read to in a movie, I was to experience it. They just did such a poor job on a movie that had so much more potential.

And the part that really boggles my mind: So many people love it!

I could understand kids liking it, but common. If you're out of High School, you should be able to tell the difference between a cute fantasy movie (How about The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe? Or The Golden Compass?) and something that should have been THROWN AWAY before it hit the theaters.

I guess it just comes down to the fact that everyone's obsessed with these beautiful eternal demons.

I miss when different was actually different.
Eventually we're going to be reading books on devout Catholics.


Dan S said...

The thought of Vampires that can't go into sunlight because they're too pretty and shiny make me throw up a bit.

I'm liking the Sookie Stackhouse books (True Blood) MUCH better.

semi234 said...

My biggest gripe about the book was how disjointed the plot was. The author described on her website that she writes the scenes that interests her first then uses the rest as filler. The really stands out in a number of places where I didn't get the sense there was any forethought in what happens.

Like "Oh sh**, vampires are upon us in our special baseball field." For something that drives the last 1/3 of the book, it should in no way have been an afterthought.

I was ok when Stephanie Meyers was writing about Bella's thought processes but was quite a bear to read in other places. Like you there are other ways than actually writing "Character A did X, then Y, then Z. Now I feel like crap." Its like use a little nuisance.