Self Control

It is a mantra. Have self control, have self control, have self control. I will not call any of the boys. I will not smoke. I will have composure. I will not call, I will not call, I will not call...

On my list of things to do today:

-Shoot Marice (Cute eccentric boy with neat style and an affinity towards making music)
-Possibly shoot Andrea (heavily tattooed and I've shot her many times)
-Clean out my car
-Get wasted and watch that new vampire HBO series that apparently you can get for free at Blockbuster. (Thanks Mell)

What I really want to do is take my feeble $100 that I have to my name and drive out to Texas and shoot the aftermath of hurricane Ike. The other night we got hit with the left over storm. The power went out at exactly two, and I begged Holly and Jon to go outside with me to check it out. All of Syracuse was out and it was ghostly, the wind was terrifying and I was convinced that there were monsters in the shadows. I was this close to getting in my car and searching out a cool shot from some high spot. But I didn't have my tripod sooooo.... sucks cause the moon was huge, too. Anyway, I grabbed my film just in case.

I have yet to see any good photos come out of Ike, and it's killing me. I know there are tuns of dudes with cameras around there so why the fuck haven't I seen a worthy photo of the 20 thousand people still in Galveston? I've been listening to NPR and watching the news and I'm going ape shit bat CRAZY wanting to just hop in my car and go take pictures. Oh! ohoh! And the NEWS, man, the news is crazy. Who's lighting these people? TV in general makes my head hurt but I want to watch it more (I don't have cable, myself) so I can be so inspired to go out and do shit.

But instead I have to go look for a real job. Fuck. I don't want a real job. I'm pretty happy scraping by and modeling for Thriftwares and going down to NYC every once and a while and taking pictures every where I go.

I think maybe I'll look into wedding photography. Buuuuut I need a digital camera. Need. I've got my precious film cameras (minus the Olympus). I finally have a light meter (two, actually, though I haven't figured out how to use them... Thanks Jeff and Tim!!).

Aright so I just spent ten minute playing with them and I figured it out. Fucking cool. They are so cooooool... they're the old kind... with swirly dials and needles and such. Which match my old cameras so weeeelll... and I found a 50's hot pink bike on craigslist for $50 bucks and I don't care if it's really fucking stupid I WANT THAT BIKE. Hopefully she didn't sell it yet *crosses fingers*.

Aright enough of this bullshit. Time to go out and take pictures to prove that I rock and that James can kiss my happy cute ass. I'll show him! (and everyone else, too!)

Watch me prance with my nose in the air.