A few thoughts on Christmas and New Years

So... So.

Christmas is coming and I'm trying to make the best out of it. I again have little money to be doing all the things for all the people I wish I could, but I suppose that comes with the territory of vagabond. I'll be spending a few days before Christmas traveling around to various cities so that I can see my immediate family, that happens to be quite spread out. Christmas eve I'll be spending on a 13hr train to Chicago, which I have mixed feelings about, naturally. I arrive Christmas morning to be with my twin sister for the day, who has to work in the afternoon, most likely all night. I'm happy to be spending it with her, as we haven't spent a Christmas together in some years now, and I always miss her so much... Family gatherings feel really strange to me without her- I consider her an anchor, particularly with family, like half of me is missing. Probably because half of me is missing and they're used to us together.

And then there's New Years, which I have the thought to fly to LA New Years Eve because it'll be the cheapest and I don't much feel like entering into 2012 in a drunk haze feeling sorry that I don't have a lover to kiss me and be romantic.

As I consider these things, of traveling and being alone during these two big holidays, I'm mixed with feeling sorry for myself and being excited that I'm putting my career ahead of some expectation of some great to-do dedicated to being amazing for these dates. I like that I keep getting rid of things. I like that I traveled down to DC with barely any clothes and a bunch of photo shit. I like that I've set a goal to get that photo backpack as the next step in taking myself more seriously as a photographer and artist. It seems every time I take one of these steps into professionalism, the universe responds with many times the positive feedback on my work and other people recognizing that it's not just a hobby, it's not passing, it's not going anywhere and that I really love my work. It feels good to have people see my passion, and appreciate my vision.