Dawn in the Sky

It's funny to me, how different people see me completely differently. One day I have someone telling me to go kill myself, the next someone else praising me for everything that I am. Makes me wonder who actually knows me or who I actually am. I do know, however, that the person who tells me to kill myself is a cruel bastard with nothing to do better than to warp his understanding of me and take his anger and hate of the world and his own life out on me. I know that I am just fine without those sorts of people in my life, or anyone connected to them. My life has gotten much better in the last couple months as I let those people go. I'm sad to let them slip through my fingers, but relieved to be gone of one more drama or one more negative aspect in my life. Things have changed, I am changing, and I will rise up stronger and better than you. And one day you'll apologize...

In the meantime...

I've spent so much dreaming and energy into the idea of following the sunset to California, chasing the sun into the desert... That it never even crossed my mind what it would be like to experience it the other way around.... Leaving Seattle in a 6am flight, it was overcast and predawn.. but as we rose into the clouds, the light sifting through and we broke out to the open sky and the dawn staring me in the face, the colours of the clouds so close I could touch them if not for the glass.. and I cried at the thought of rising up and meeting the sun head on, of the strength and love I feel for the sun and everything it represents for me, the beauty I see in this world in spite of the ugly hearts of others.

It was the most amazing sunrise I have experienced and probably will ever experience. Words don't do it justice, and neither does this photograph. But in my head, it will stay, and I hope for all those other dreamers out there, that you get to experience a similar dawn as well.

On my way off the plane, I looked at the pilot and told him the sunrise was beautiful. All I could think of was how wonderful it must have been from his seat. He said he enjoyed it as well. I was hoping to get better pictures than I did, but this one will have to suffice. I was hoping to have copies every time I flew, because god knows, there's no way a pilot could not enjoy that. I've sat in cockpits and know that anyone who flies a plane, certainly loves it more than anything else.

I love it, too.

And I think him and I were the only ones watching.

Do you look out the window?