Only Boring people get Bored

Or so I thought until I had nothing to do since Sunday. I was supposed to work at the bar tonight but mysteriously I'm not on the schedule. I guess because drama went down at the other bar they own a few towns over, they lost their liquor license because of noise or some shit? Anyway, those bitches apparently got president over me. Pifft. I made a big dramatic stink to the manager and he laughed and so did I and then I left.

Oh well. I was stoked about working because I have had nothing to do. I'm tempted to stop by there later, but it's always a mob fest filled with douchebags down on that street on thursdays because of this huge Saranac Thursdays where the brewery opens up every week with cheep prices on Saranac beers and a band. Brings out all the young crowd. Rude. Obnoxious. Don't tip. Et cetera.

Fridays are way better. Older crowd. I love me the older crowds.

I guess I'll spend tonight like I've spent the last three nights. Editing and cleaning. I think I've lost some brain cells. If I could scan, at least I could see some new stuff. But I'm forced to go back and edit all my older work, which I need to do anyway.

But still. I'm going stir crazy.

Above is the first of many of Sam. A fully wardrobe-styled shoot with five different looks by none other than Holly Ross. Makes me feel all special.

Next: Makeup artist
Next: Hair stylist

Let me fluff my feathers as I gloat about having my own wardrobe stylist at my fingertips. Not to mention she's fucking awesome as a general rule.

Whatever. Back to... editing...

Luxury

I'm pretty sure that my favorite time of day is dawn. It's fucking amazing. The colours, the air, the quiet... I wish I were up more often at this time. And not from staying up all night, though that has it's charm, too.

However, my favorite colour is the the colour of leaves being hit by bright afternoon sun. God damn, it's glorious.

So I've decided that I'm going to start taking bubble baths every day that I'm home, and try to read every day for at least an hour. This is in moving my daily life to be more relaxing and productive. It's productive to indulge in a bit of luxury, particularly bubble baths! Ahh, love. And I have a KILLER claw-foot tub in probably one of the best bathrooms you ever did seeeee.

Later today I'm working on developing a nice pile of black and white film, which I'm stoked about. woot-woot.

Building a Scrapbook

I keep talking about this scrapbook idea (well, maybe just to James), and I wish I'd start it, already. The more I use this silly fuji finepix bullshit, the more I love it. I took it with me to the bar when a bunch of fabulous people were in there all at the same time. One of them being Nerlande, featured above. The headless shoulder is none other than Gary Breckheimer, who I just met and is right up there with Ner in the super-awesome category (though obviously she's way cooler). ;)

Had a great time in the city. Again.


I've been planning to move to Brooklyn for two years now.


Have you ever gone back to a city you haven't lived in for a while? It's like stepping into your past, seeing who you were and what you were doing. I feel nothing but ghosts from the past towns and cities I've lived in. But at one point I felt wary of each as I let go of that life and got tangled in the next. I feel that wary (or maybe weary) of Utica, but New York City makes me excited. Driving there feels like moving forward.

And I have driven into Manhattan across the George Washington bridge and snaked my way down the FDR to the Brooklyn bridge so many times now, and crossing that first bridge and watching the buildings raise to the sky, it still makes me feel light and inspired and giddy.

The city is seducing me.

(still really scary, though)

I feel like every time I move, I evolve.

Equations

This is the shot I took of Melissa almost three years ago.

Here's the one I took yesterday-



"You look like you're doing math."
-Melissa Ayala

She's a student,
And studies constantly.
She's scared of bugs,
And squeals and makes a big deal.
She never wears makeup,
And looks best that way.

We've had a long break in our friendship, but it seems like nothing's changed. That's nice. She's never modeled except for with me, but she's unafraid and trusts me. Which is fan-fucking-tastic.

You can see a few more on my flickr

My #1 Fear

Is to never get out of Utica.
It's been especially eating at me today,
for whatever reason.




This is Dan. He works at a mexican place in Syracuse where Holly and I go from time to time. I knew him about five years ago for a couple months while we had mutual friends. But you know how "those things" are (particularly in spontaneous 11th graders traveling an hour and a half away every couple weeks to go party with non-highschoolers), most new friends are fleeting.

This makes me remember how every few years I do a lot of couch sleeping and hopping and ridiculousness. I feel ridiculous now, actually, on the verge of a new stage in my life.

Dan moves to Brooklyn tomorrow.

Jealous.

Oh, and, by-the-way.. The above photo isn't photoshop, it's the result of me fucking up a roll of film. Not too shabby, I'd say. Wouldn't you?

Reason #27 why I love Holly Ross

"I cannot wear flipflops in public."
-Holly Ross

And in response:
"Put that cooch away Meagan"

500 Miles

almost exactly from my house to James'.

While I'm driving I often forget about music, and I often create shoots and blog posts. I make lists, sort issues out and miss people. I admire colours a lot, too. Today I drove home from NYC, and especially admired the clouds. I think blue is my new favorite colour. I've been slowly figuring out my pallet for my photos. Blue tint = yes, red and yellow= no.

Though, for the life of me, I can't remember all the interesting things I wanted to say.

I do know, however, that I have the best fucking boyfriend on the face of the earth.

Besides all that, I have a lot of photo editing to catch up on, which is happiness.

And for the record I'm pretty proud of myself for making my blog look as it does. My html skillz r 4 teh win.

Here is the absolutely beautiful and talented Renee. There's something about her that makes my heart ache.

So Get This:

For the last four years that I've been taking pictures.. I've been of the mindset to NOT bring up photography in conversation or be caught in talking about it, or to encourage others on the topic. There were too many people (four years ago, at least...) who wanted to tell me all they knew about the subject, and assuming I knew nothing.

But apparently something's changed, because the last two nights I've carried my Konica around at work and it's working serious magic. I took pictures of most of the people who work at Hollyrock, which was fun. There's this one girl, Kristin, who is this bitchy loud wonderful italian princess. Long black hair, perfect makeup, short shorts every week and sporting a solid summer tan. She is obnoxious in that I-Love-Her-For-It sort of way, bitchy in that charming way. She had matching purple underwear on today and is a total ham. Of course, naturally, I asked her to model for me.

There is this other bartender (Shelly) who I've never really talked to and, until tonight, have always gotten not stellar vibes from. But she's proven worthy of the limbo stage - even before she asked me "are you Artistic?". To which I didn't know how to answer.

And Get. This.

Some older guy comes up to me while I'm prancing around on the bar with a bottle of liquor in my hands to pour into the mouths of thirsty costomers for a dollar a shot and, after buying one, asks me if I have a blog, and if I'm a photographer. He then continues to tell me how he loves my work, and not only my modeling and photography but my writing as well. Okay okay, so I understand that I'm a cute girl (not to mention I have naked pictures of myself here somewhere) and he may have just been flattering me... but fuck, dude, who doesn't like to be flattered.

I'll take it. I was pretty caught off guard.

Hopefully half-frame photos of all the pretty bartenders who work with me soon.

Someone Please Remind Me

That I should be acting on the photos I see in my head.

There are times when I look at a person and a whole scene plays out for how I want their photo to be. There are also (more recently) where I just know that I'll be able to photograph so-and-so and it'll be dandy. Expectation vs No Expectations. And while I'm a person who believes in the latter, I can't keep myself from the former. Though that isn't to confuse straight up with switchbacks.

But damn, these photos in my head are brilliant, I sayyy

I took my Konica to work tonight and took pictures of a bunch of people. I guessed on the exposure (which I'm getting better at, slowly but surely, though it still worries me) and by the end of the night I had the numbers of a transvestite, three straight girls and two gay boys. All beautiful.

I'm praying that this roll of film comes out fine. While exposure can be fudged to a degree, focus cannot. I think this is why it takes me so long to process film: Scared.

But you can't learn if you don't fuck up, so on with it!

I'm actually just really stoked to see the photos I took of Melanie. The shoot with her was one where I had a vision for her, though I'm sure the best shots are not the one I had in mind. Here's a digital of her, and one she took of me.